Friday, October 29, 2010

Nobody shares when life sucks, eh?

People don't like talking about their problems. It's akin to posing nude in public, or so it seems. 

Being vulnerable and exposed is not for the faint of heart. It takes great courage to admit misery, even if it's easy (and convenient) to commiserate.

But, here's the rub. If you're going through a shitty time and you know by exposing yourself you could potentially help someone else, why do you hesitate? Is it for fear that you may be the only one? Absurd. Is it because you're in denial? Well, that's short sighted. Or is it because you, yourself, can't come to terms with your misery and by sharing it you think your problems will only be exacerbated further? Hmm, that would seem reasonable.

Either way, though, it is undeniable that by sharing your grievances you help others learn from your suffering, which in turn will inevitably help you. It may not happen right away (which makes it exponentially more difficult to "sell"), but it will happen. Why? Well, because it's the law of universal karma. 

You see, people always talk about karma because it sounds like something good to say. But how many people actually practice what they preach? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you? Walk the walk and talk the talk? And on and on the idioms go. 

Rare, right?

If people actually believed that the negative stuff they did and said would truly come back to them, we'd live in a different world entirely. On the flip side, if people truly believed the good they put out into the world would eventually gravitate back to them, well then more people would be inclined to act in good faith. We're a self-involved, self-interested, indulgent species after all.

So where's the disconnect?

I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. But, my sense is that fear and human nature play lead roles in this musical we call life.

I'll also take a leap off the moral high ground I've stationed here and admit that I do not like sharing or talking about my problems. I'll be the first to talk about my successes and share them with the world. But, when I'm miserable, I shut down and clamp up like nobody's business.

But, it ends here. In this moment. Right now.

Life has been hard and downright shitty sometimes in the last two years.

Nobody told me life would be this tough post-graduation. I always imagined it would be rainbows and butterflies, you see I'm blessed and cursed with this eternal optimism thing.

When I was going through school, aspiring to follow in the footsteps of my role models, I never took into account their struggle, their suffering. Mostly because they rarely put it out for display. Now, maybe that's the secret. Maybe that's why they were successful. Or maybe the secret is to lean on a close, trusted circle of friends in times of need, such that your weaknesses are never known to the masses. Lest a competitor or evil twin chomps you up in light of them. Or maybe they did share and I only saw what I wanted to see. Understandably, sharing is easier said than done. But once you cross that line, I trust it gets easier.

Whatever the case, I wish I had known some of the secrets of my role models. So, I'm going to do a better job of sharing the next time I'm down in the dumps. And I hope you all do too. You never know when you might be able to help someone out and when that good karma might come full circle and help you (sooner or later) too.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Disenchanted, disheartened and otherwise detached

It's 4:45am.

I just finished doing my nails and eating a pack of maynards, my stomach will hate me for it later.

I figure if I can't fix the big problems I see, I might as well fix myself up a bit.

The big problems are vast and run deep, but the one that has me up tonight is Toronto's election of Rob Ford as Mayor.

It's been an ugly 10 months leading up to the Toronto Mayoral race, and I'm not sure I wish I stayed so engaged.

The disenchantment for our political process has been brewing in me for sometime now, but I think tonight was the breaking point. In a race that so ruthlessly pitted left against right and right against left, dividing the centre unlike ever before, I really began to question, what's the point of all this?

I fell in love with politics because I was enthralled by the adrenaline rush, the vigour one gets when someone accomplishes something odds be damned. And while the polls and even Ford himself declared he'd triumph, see here. All it takes is a quick search on twitter to catch a glimpse of the straight up ass whooping he's been taking from average Torontonians, check it here.

The journey is so much more than the destination can ever be as they say. And no more is this true than in politics.

Ford successfully triumphed by staying on point, being strategic, never deviating from the absolutely diabolical pummelling of how broken Toronto is under the direction of left-leaning Mayor David Miller.

In doing so, he planted a seed early and fast. And like kids that attend pre-school, voters ate it up. Unsurprisingly, they needed a reason to be angry and Ford served it up to them on a silver plater, dangling a gravy train for the eager and salivating.

This dandy PR gambit coupled with no real stealth alternative, and Ford's win is not that bewildering. It's still despicable, for a wonderfully diverse city as Toronto to be led by such ignorant buffoonery, but it's not surprising.

The progressives of Toronto should've seen this coming. They can hate polls all they want, but if this victory is any indication, sometimes polls are hauntingly spot on. What's done in the face of them is what will bring respite, welcoming a new way of a politicking.

I'm disheartened by what may happen in Council Chambers, behind closed doors. But, where I better hope to channel my energy is in causes outside the political landscape that helps make my beloved, adopted city rise to a standard it is so worthy of...

1. Ranked Ballot Initiative of Toronto - Dave Meslin (@meslin) is a bon vivant to watch on the civic engagement front, I expect big things from him virtually and hopefully in real-life too.
2. Toronto Youth Food Policy Council - I recently became a council member for this glorious organization. Food has always been a huge part of my life, it's one of my life goals to ensure that remains true for my future generations.
3. Equal Voice Speaks Out - I gotta say, I love this organization. Not because I need a woman to speak on my behalf necessarily, but it sure would be nice to see the House of Commons, Question Period specifically, be elevated to a level more representative of the civility of our society.
4. Staying connected: I know I've promised this before and failed, but I promise to be better at updating this space. For more regular, micro updates, please get connected with me on twitter @DLamsar.

That's it for now folks, posse out.

d.