100 years of womening...

A woman I respect and admire more than my words can express resigned from her position today. Her two boys (a 3-year old and a 5-year old) started pulling out the ever-so-heart-wrenching phrase, "mommy's working" in her absence. She thought (and properly so) it best to part with her high-flying gig in the skyscraper, for a much more trying post - motherhood.

I know it's the right decision. I know it's a good decision. She had been wearing herself down for some time. But, I think it galls us to ask ourselves what is says about a system that is unable to sustain our women. When making the decision to have children means taking a few steps down from the corporate ladder. What does it say? What do our "achievements" really mean if a woman in a position of power, ambitious as they come, with the smarts, the abilities and the heart to do the best possible job, can't? What does it say?

It's a loss. In every way. No matter how you slice it. A woman should not have to choose between a family and a career. But, take a long, hard look at the women that sit in the boardrooms of this country and the proof is blatantly clear.

It's ironic too, considering we're at the fore of the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day, tomorrow, March 8th.  After 100 years of womening, it's clear to see that progress has been made. Lest we forget the suffrage movement, the millions upon millions of women who have come before us (bra burning et al.) fighting for the great freedoms that we have, and at times, take for granted. Long battles were fought, and still there are more to come.

On this day we think of the famed femmes. We think of Rosa Parks, who left a nation changed by refusing to surrender her seat to a white man on a bus. The greatest saint our generation will ever know, The Mother Teresa of India's most impoverished slums. And yes, an unseemly alliance - a royal with a humanitarian flare, the peoples' Princess Diana. We think of their achievements and remain deeply touched by their service to women (and humanity).

But, we also take a bow to the women in our everyday lives. Who don "the cape" - you know that red one - superwoman styles. As they lead their workplaces, their families, their communities and everything else in between. We - the young femmes - look on in awe. Hoping, some day, we may be so fortunate to have the strength to balance it all. We yearn for a system that will sustains us, our ambitions, our desires and our dreams.

I hope you take a moment to send a nod to the women in your lives, your everyday Rosa Parks or Mother Teresas or Princess Di's. Those women you hold so high on that pedestal. Send them a note, to help them soldier on. In every way, a salute to one woman in your life is a salute to women everywhere.

Happy IWD. Vive les femmes. Here's to another century of progress.

An update and some quotable quotes a la The West Wing

As a newly hired speechwriter, I'm finding that inspiration is rare to come by. And often - nay, too often - the days are spent chasing deadlines and pleasing the powers that be, so much so that there is little time left for the serendipity - the romance - the sheer joy of the speechwriting craft if you will. 

I keep reading it's a lot like acting. And it's true. I get into character when I'm ghostwriting--well I try to anyway, best I can. I put myself in the speakers shoes, imagine myself in their head and under their skin and think of things that they might think and see and do or say. It can actually be quite fun! I get to learn a ton, A TON, about Toronto, there's a shit load of ridiculously cool grassroots organizations out there doing some friggin fantastic work.

I have a deep (perhaps deeper?) affection for Barack Obama. Politics aside, he who makes himself available to his chief speechwriter - Jon Favreau -  is in my good books. Favreau, being in his late 20s, is inspiration enough. I'm only now learning how difficult "access" is to come by. I wish I had it, I so rarely do. There's somethings you just can't make up. So as much as you hope your speaker will add colour and anecdotes in the delivery, you lose the umpf factor and most of your control in resonating with your audience when you don't have that inside scoop. Though when you do, boy do you make the most of it. Like a kid in a candy store, you soak it in with each and every one of your senses. 

The learning curve is steep, that's putting it lightly. But, I'm really enjoying it. I've always believed I'm a bit of a masochist and that I like this experience is proof of that. The absolute decimation of my ego allows for a pure and uninhibited focus on honing some key skills. 

I still have a long, long ways to go. I know where I'd like to be and where I need to be. But, the process is - and has been - trying, and excruciatingly slow. I hope to have opportunities to meet some of the impeccable speechwriters that have come before my time. Canada seems to lag behind the States and parts of Europe in organizing a Guild of sorts, but I guess that's no surprise. 

I'll do my best to post updates as I soldier on - both here and on my twitter account @DLamsar. My sincere apologies to those missing me in their lives. Trust me, my end is probably just as lonely - if not more - than yours. 

Until next time, much love. 

d.

Oh and here's some sweet literary connoisseuring from The West Wing. Enjoy! 

"Securing peace in a time of global conflict. Sustaining hope in this winner of anxiety and fear.

More than any time in recent history, America’s destiny is not of our own choosing.

We did not seek nor did we provoke an assault on our freedom and our way of life.

We did not expect nor did we invite a confrontation with evil.

Yet, the true measure of a peoples’ strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive.

44 people were killed 4 hours on the swim team. Upon hearing about the explosions, they ran into the fire to help get people out.

Ran into the fire.

The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They’re our students and our parents and our teachers our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight.

But, every time we think we’ve reached our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and are reminded that that capacity may well be limitless.

This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard.

We will achieve what is great.

This is a time for American heroes. And we reach for the stars.

God bless their memory. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America."-- President Bartlet in "20 Hours in America"

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral. Returning violence with violence only multiplies violence. Adding deeper darkness to a night already void of stars." -- Quoting Dr. King, in "The Dogs of War"

Nobody shares when life sucks, eh?

People don't like talking about their problems. It's akin to posing nude in public, or so it seems. 

Being vulnerable and exposed is not for the faint of heart. It takes great courage to admit misery, even if it's easy (and convenient) to commiserate.

But, here's the rub. If you're going through a shitty time and you know by exposing yourself you could potentially help someone else, why do you hesitate? Is it for fear that you may be the only one? Absurd. Is it because you're in denial? Well, that's short sighted. Or is it because you, yourself, can't come to terms with your misery and by sharing it you think your problems will only be exacerbated further? Hmm, that would seem reasonable.

Either way, though, it is undeniable that by sharing your grievances you help others learn from your suffering, which in turn will inevitably help you. It may not happen right away (which makes it exponentially more difficult to "sell"), but it will happen. Why? Well, because it's the law of universal karma. 

You see, people always talk about karma because it sounds like something good to say. But how many people actually practice what they preach? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you? Walk the walk and talk the talk? And on and on the idioms go. 

Rare, right?

If people actually believed that the negative stuff they did and said would truly come back to them, we'd live in a different world entirely. On the flip side, if people truly believed the good they put out into the world would eventually gravitate back to them, well then more people would be inclined to act in good faith. We're a self-involved, self-interested, indulgent species after all.

So where's the disconnect?

I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. But, my sense is that fear and human nature play lead roles in this musical we call life.

I'll also take a leap off the moral high ground I've stationed here and admit that I do not like sharing or talking about my problems. I'll be the first to talk about my successes and share them with the world. But, when I'm miserable, I shut down and clamp up like nobody's business.

But, it ends here. In this moment. Right now.

Life has been hard and downright shitty sometimes in the last two years.

Nobody told me life would be this tough post-graduation. I always imagined it would be rainbows and butterflies, you see I'm blessed and cursed with this eternal optimism thing.

When I was going through school, aspiring to follow in the footsteps of my role models, I never took into account their struggle, their suffering. Mostly because they rarely put it out for display. Now, maybe that's the secret. Maybe that's why they were successful. Or maybe the secret is to lean on a close, trusted circle of friends in times of need, such that your weaknesses are never known to the masses. Lest a competitor or evil twin chomps you up in light of them. Or maybe they did share and I only saw what I wanted to see. Understandably, sharing is easier said than done. But once you cross that line, I trust it gets easier.

Whatever the case, I wish I had known some of the secrets of my role models. So, I'm going to do a better job of sharing the next time I'm down in the dumps. And I hope you all do too. You never know when you might be able to help someone out and when that good karma might come full circle and help you (sooner or later) too.

Disenchanted, disheartened and otherwise detached

It's 4:45am.

I just finished doing my nails and eating a pack of maynards, my stomach will hate me for it later.

I figure if I can't fix the big problems I see, I might as well fix myself up a bit.

The big problems are vast and run deep, but the one that has me up tonight is Toronto's election of Rob Ford as Mayor.

It's been an ugly 10 months leading up to the Toronto Mayoral race, and I'm not sure I wish I stayed so engaged.

The disenchantment for our political process has been brewing in me for sometime now, but I think tonight was the breaking point. In a race that so ruthlessly pitted left against right and right against left, dividing the centre unlike ever before, I really began to question, what's the point of all this?

I fell in love with politics because I was enthralled by the adrenaline rush, the vigour one gets when someone accomplishes something odds be damned. And while the polls and even Ford himself declared he'd triumph, see here. All it takes is a quick search on twitter to catch a glimpse of the straight up ass whooping he's been taking from average Torontonians, check it here.

The journey is so much more than the destination can ever be as they say. And no more is this true than in politics.

Ford successfully triumphed by staying on point, being strategic, never deviating from the absolutely diabolical pummelling of how broken Toronto is under the direction of left-leaning Mayor David Miller.

In doing so, he planted a seed early and fast. And like kids that attend pre-school, voters ate it up. Unsurprisingly, they needed a reason to be angry and Ford served it up to them on a silver plater, dangling a gravy train for the eager and salivating.

This dandy PR gambit coupled with no real stealth alternative, and Ford's win is not that bewildering. It's still despicable, for a wonderfully diverse city as Toronto to be led by such ignorant buffoonery, but it's not surprising.

The progressives of Toronto should've seen this coming. They can hate polls all they want, but if this victory is any indication, sometimes polls are hauntingly spot on. What's done in the face of them is what will bring respite, welcoming a new way of a politicking.

I'm disheartened by what may happen in Council Chambers, behind closed doors. But, where I better hope to channel my energy is in causes outside the political landscape that helps make my beloved, adopted city rise to a standard it is so worthy of...

1. Ranked Ballot Initiative of Toronto - Dave Meslin (@meslin) is a bon vivant to watch on the civic engagement front, I expect big things from him virtually and hopefully in real-life too.
2. Toronto Youth Food Policy Council - I recently became a council member for this glorious organization. Food has always been a huge part of my life, it's one of my life goals to ensure that remains true for my future generations.
3. Equal Voice Speaks Out - I gotta say, I love this organization. Not because I need a woman to speak on my behalf necessarily, but it sure would be nice to see the House of Commons, Question Period specifically, be elevated to a level more representative of the civility of our society.
4. Staying connected: I know I've promised this before and failed, but I promise to be better at updating this space. For more regular, micro updates, please get connected with me on twitter @DLamsar.

That's it for now folks, posse out.

d.

A conversation with Mark Kuznicki

I remember the exact moment I fell in love with this city. I was about 12 years old, sitting in the back of my uncle’s taxicab. It was Diwali and he was driving us down Gerrard Street as we made our way to visit some family. There’s always been something magical about Diwali, holidays tend to have that affect on people I suppose, but this memory is particularly vivid of my childhood because as I rolled down the window to take a peak, I was mesmerized by the smell of incense, the light of divas, the deafening sound of Hindi music blaring from outdoor speakers, women in silky saris covered in mehndi and the sheer volume of my people - young and old – jubilantly relishing the moment in celebrating this joyous festival. It left me as a young girl absolutely in love; awestruck to say the least. So let’s get one thing straight, I’m just a gal from the ‘burbs with a deep affection for this big, beautiful and fantastically diverse city. I don’t have all the answers, much like many of the insightful provocateurs of this campaign dubbed ChangeCamp, but I do love this place. And thus this project, no matter how perfectly imperfect it may be, is mine too.

Upon the receipt of my last post, I was invited to have a caffeinated beverage with Mark Kuznicki – the mastermind behind changecamp. His first remark (no pun intended) was “your post was personal, very personal.” Duly noted. Throughout my undergraduate career in political science, I’d heard a great many times that

“the everyday is political, the personal is political.”

I didn’t really know what it meant then, and it’s arguably an ongoing internal conversation. But, as I’ve entered the “real world,” it has become increasingly clear to me and more relevant every single day. Everything about the past that helps define our present has got to do with politics. The leaders that were in power at the right time, doing the right thing or at the wrong time, doing the wrong thing (or any combination of that sort) is significant. From the moment we wake up in the morning to the second we fall asleep, we make choices that dictates our politics, whether we realize it or not. From the television shows we watch, to the newspapers we read, the stores we shop at and the mode of transportation we use, everything hinges on the politics of our times. And so then, it’s no surprise that my critique was very much a personal one.

As I mentioned in my last post, I applaud the vision of changecamp. I respect the people who have undertaken such a monumental project because I know very well that it’s not for the faint of heart. As I mentioned to my Twitter mate, Joseph Dee, I want so badly to be wrong. But, I am honest about my skepticism because I role with conviction, I simply know no other way. For this reason alone, I will not apologize for my very personal criticisms nor will I take them back so they can be shared with the masses via the changecamp posse. No thanks; it’s simply not my style. I believe that at the heart of any hearty civic debate is the dire need for collaboration. And no, I’m not talking about the term that people throw around so that they feel good about themselves. I’m talking real, sometimes-it-feels-like-a-pain-in-the-ass collaboration. The kind that keeps the door open to the cynic, optimist and everyone else in between. Because guess what, it’s their community too!

If there’s one thing that came across clearly in my meeting with Kuznicki, it’s that his heart is in the right place. He believes change is possible and that’s more than I can say for a whole lot of Torontonians who simply sit back and complain, but do diddlysquat to the effect of manifesting real change. Because who are we kidding, without concerted efforts and specific intentions it’s merely wishful thinking to hope for change in TO folks. I think ChangeCamp has enormous potential to effect change in this city if it goes back to the drawing board and considers what’s at stake if it doesn’t bring everyone to the table. On my call for more diversity, Kuznicki assured me that there was a head member of OCASI present. For those who are unaware of the organization, OCASI stands for the Ontario Council of Agencies Serving Immigrants. So how many of you think this "head of OCASI" person is plugged into the real, everyday, day-in-day-out issues that matter to immigrants of all walks of life? Like seriously? I’d be interested in knowing how much of the information this person took away from ChangeCamp is actually being taken back and reworked into their model or partner agencies, because that’s effectively the change that changecampers are fighting for, right?

Minutiae aside, having the courage and willpower to act is surely a solid first step. Kuznicki told me he “quit a job in finance to start this project, but that this project is not about him, it’s about Toronto and the community of organizers that have made it all possible.” That’s where I think he is wrong. This project is as much about Mark and his story, as it is about me and my story. Because the bottom line is our stories are not dispassionate ones. And so, it is the collection of our shared stories, and not our toolkits, that will inspire change in Toronto.

Let’s say au revoir to rhetoric; let’s say bonjour to intentional change. Change that matters. The kind that means something to real people and that has a direct impact on our communities. Toronto Councillor Adam Vaughan is a case in point: I giddily read about his wonderful affordable housing project in Metro morning on Friday. He has made the seemingly impossible, possible. Vaughan eschews a bolder vision for Toronto in saying,

“imagine if the guy working the door in your building also lived in the building.”

To see a politician with this kind of purpose, beyond the noise, beyond the complicated ideologies that we submit to, reminds us all of how simple the solutions can be if we just take our blinders off and open our hearts and minds to a more holistic Toronto.

Another example caught my attention today as I flipped through a copy of the Toronto Star. Catherine Porter tells the tale of “wild imaginings” and the dire need to pick up the once-dubbed community hubs now abandoned, dingy, dungeons that are Toronto’s ice rinks. Her story is personal, passionate and very much a call to action. She had me in the first line and carried me through her journey, but more than that she also took me back to the days that my mom used to take me to the ice rink in my community. Something I believe every child should have the joy of experiencing. So yes, I will sign on to her campaign. She told me her story and helped me reminisce about mine. Now that's what I'm talking about folks!

Well, I hope I’ve said enough to help calm the flames of dissent. I encourage you to share the moment you fell in love with this city and why this project is so very personal to you. If you’re a believer and you’re just not quite there yet, just wait, you’ll get there. All it takes is a quick peak; just roll down the window and take the city in.

d.

A letter to ChangeCampTO exec:

ChangeCamp is all good in theory...it's what I've been waiting for a long time, so yes, I applaud the cause. But because I applaud the cause, I want it to be the best it can be, I want it to progress, I want to see it succeed, I want my Toronto to shine because changecamp exists. In order to do that we need to continually revisit the drawing board and make appropriate changes, so here's my thoughts:

1. Yes, we direly need change.
No Torontonian that's more or less plugged into the city will doubt that we need change. That kind of goes without saying since so many of the problems we face, we have faced for some time...the archaic systems we have in place are just not providing us with the forward-thinking solutions that we need to be Toronto the GREAT. So yes, WE can likely all jump on the change bandwagon, no questions asked. But, who is this 'we'--that is what will make changcamp rise and shine or fold embarrassingly (more on this below).

2. Time is of the essence.
I came to changecamp a little early (I'm an avid people-watcher) to soak in the energy of the room, catch a glimpse of the organizers/t-shirt posse and shmooze before what I was expecting to be the first day of Toronto the GREAT. But as I got comfortable in my seat, watched some people around the room, I couldn't help but sense a tone of arrogance, a tone of privilege, like we were "the chosen ones" to decide how change could be made possible for Toronto the suffering. It was an open-door/volunteer event, so the inklings were completely unfounded. I quickly brushed my guilty conscience aside, high on the expectations that this could be the future as we know it. As time ticked on by, I became more and more anxious (I'm not a busy person by any stretch of the imagination, but when people waste my time I have zero tolerance). This rant could go on for forever, so all I'll say is all excuses aside, changecamp events MUST run on schedule, especially when held on a weeknight. If not, you will lose people fast and steady before you've even started your pitch.

3. "Quieting our cleverness"
So when the show finally got on the road, I was surprised that Mark Kuznicki focused more on the past than on the present and the future. I'm all for recognizing our past and how it can help move us forward...but nothing about Mark's presentation moved me, I was not inspired and to get the engines going (I'd read it roaring) you so need to rev the crowds. Peter Block and Clay Shirky on the other hand seemed like they'd have intriguing stories...hearing them address the Toronto audience directly would've been cool (even if through a video conference or something). I interviewed McGuinty's speechwriter once and he said something that I think we all know but we forget- "people don't relate to facts; people relate to stories." I know Mark started this whole shabang, but if he can't make the masses roar, find someone else who can! It's like my hero Dayna Baumeister says, "we must suppress our egos, quiet our cleverness, and admit that we actually don't know all that much." If this project is to ignite civic paticipation in Toronto, and by the sounds of it that's what the mission is, well then we need to be willing to question every move and make it better and better and better some more.

4. The story that will inspire is the story of Toronto.
The story-telling approach cuts on every bias imaginable. How can someone tell you what you're doing is wrong or isn't working when all you're really doing is telling the story of Torontonians? Kazam! So how can changecamp do this? Well, going back to the feeling in the room...I think there was a lack of representation/diversity considering the mosaic that is our city. From the people running the show, to the candidates spewing their agendas, to the activists who were too extreme...it all seemed a bit too chaotic and I thought, how can we possibly achieve harmony amidst such discord? My solution: A representative(s) from every neighbourhood (with a population of x) in Toronto, who is plugged into the issues that affects their neighbourhood, that is willing to speak on their neighbours behalf and bring their cause to the table (I'm not sure how to select these neighbourhood representatives, but I do think we need to seriously consider being more representative).

OR vet the people you accept, you already do this in a way, but I would push the envelope some more. As changecamp grows, it would be interesting to really experiment with the audience-the life and breadth of this vital civic debate. Those 90 sec. videos could be a compilation of random "changemakers" in Toronto, and how we're going to include their stories in the project whether they want to be included in changecamp discussions or not. I spent one of my reading weeks in university volunteering at various homeless shelters throughout the week, working alongside people who had dedicated their entire lives to the service of others was incredibly humbling. If we tap into similar stories in Toronto to inspire our audience, well as adidas would say, impossible is nothing.

5. Why does changecamp feel more like elitecamp?
Our table had some great conversations, albeit pie in the sky, the exchange was invigorating. But while we came up with these same place, different time examples I began to muse how this toolkit approach would manifest itself in Toronto's worst neighbourhoods, among immigrant populations who are mainly concerned with making enough money to feed their kids and pay the bills, or the homeless folk who desperately need a second chance, how do we account for them in this project? Because surely a dialogue about the future of our city must account for these complex intersections.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, at present, changecamp feels a bit more like elitecamp. How can a group of people that have lived "the good life" for the most part possibly understand the lives of disenfranchised groups without including them in the conversation? How can change be made possible by handing out toolkits to random folk with the hope that they will go back and "fix their communities" without considering what their problems are in the first place? It sort of feels like writing prescriptions for diseases that are yet to be diagnosed, how utterly absurd.

6. A voice for the voiceless
This all made me think back to Hilary Swank in the movie Freedom Writers (2007). Not sure if you've seen it, but I love it for so many reasons...and there are parallels to consider for changecamp. Hilary Swank as preppy teacher Erin Gruwell goes into an inner city school to teach a bunch of seemingly "unteachable" at risk youth mired by violence and racial tensions. But, she gets chewed up and spit out by her class when she attempts to tell them what their problems are until she comes to the realization that she needs to listen. She gives a voice to the voiceless, allowing them to tell their stories and hear the stories of their classmates. A mentality shift ensues and they reclaim their lives.

People always talk about changing the world and saving the planet, I don't think that's our problem. What we need is a mentality shift. What we need is to save ourselves. From our egos, from our arrogance and accept that while we may live the good life, while we may have a voice, there are so many more Torontonians who are truly suffering, who are truly voiceless and it's how we empower them, how we include them in this project that will make it a project worthy of emulation.

Rant over. Hands tired. Mind looking forward.

d.

I'm baccckkkkkkk...a few updates~

Howdy onliners! First off, my apologies for simply vanishing for the greater part of the last 6 months...life happens, and well blogs get sidelined...but I'm hoping to get better at this because I honestly believe that writing is one of the best ways to cut through the noise of the daily grind.

So since I last posted on here, much has changed. I moved with my family into my parents dream home, it's all very exciting and I'm incredibly proud of them, mad love mom & pops! I graduated from Seneca and entered the real world, yowza I know! I'm working for this pretty stellar non-profit organization that does some seriously good work and just to make things a little sweeter, I'm also gaining some communications experience and exposure.

So, in short, life is good. No complaints really.

This week's goals:

Buy coffee for the homeless dude that opens the door for me everyday at tim horton's.

Finish off this massively-delayed project at work.

Find the font gill sans std for my mac.

Discover more shops in Toronto's underground PATH.

Start getting the house in shape for a family get together on Sunday!

It's gonna be a busy week folks, but I'm gonna make the most of it and I hope you do too...possy out.